Walking and Wah-ing

I finally know what they were all trying to say to me...

"you just wait...when they start walking, they'd be walking everywhere and you'd wish they hadn't"

It's evident that the baby doesn't like to be in the stroller anymore, that's why we bought the Radio Flyer wagon last weekend to change things up. But you can't use the wagon everywhere, especially around tight spaces like the supermarket, so we have to resort back to the stroller.

There's no more of the leisure strolling around, running errands in a stroller. Now he wahs and he wahs until you get him out of the wretched stroller and you know it's because he'd rather walk. You let him walk around because you'd rather he not wah, but he's walking everywhere, and of course always in the opposite direction. Is this what they were saying about walking?!

...Balance...

I always thought I had a good balance - I have a baby, who I take care of and I have my own business, which is still running strong (actually, even stronger after having the baby). So I have both, unlike other moms who are either full-time mothers and longs to work, or moms who go to work and longs to be taking care of the baby.

But today at my annual visit to my obgyn, she is the ONLY person who, after this whole time of having the baby, I was able to completely confide in. She made me realize that although I have that balance with work and baby, I don't have that time for me. I thought I did - because I do still go out occasionaly without the baby - but at the same time, when I am out, I subconsciously feel guilty for it. I need some truly alone time, where it's all about me, and not running errands, but maybe sitting at a coffee shop, reading a book, riding a bike - those are just some of the ideas we came up with during our meeting.

On a side note, how many doctors do you know, whole-heartedly listens to you? She's the only one - my midwife, my friend and I love her!

Monday night grocery shopping

Did you know you can get cheaper groceries on a Monday night? I don't know if that's really the case but we happened to go grocery shopping this past Monday night and EVERYTHING was on sale! It felt like everything was half off! It was a great night to stock up the pantry! =P

Millbrae Library

I think out of all the activities I've done with baby - walks, museums, parks, child observation classes, shopping, running errands, etc., going to the library has been and still is the most enjoyable.

Today we wanted to go to the Millbrae Library to check out their storytime because I just found out they have it in English AND Cantonese! But of course with my luck, the lady that does it is in China, and will resume class on 4-24. But I did get a glimpse of the newly renovated library on my way out. I haven't been there since high school, (which is more than 10 yrs ago!) and my breath was taken away! The best description I could give it is it looked like a college library! There were those rooms along the side for studying, with the glass windows and doors, and the entrance was so grand with a rotunda and automatic sliding doors! It's smaller than the Burlingame library, but the feel was so spacious and so much more contemporary.

I really was just blown away. But as I was on my way back to the car, I was thinking that I was hoping to see some glimpse of the old library, to reminisce the past, but no part of it had remained the same.

Bum it out Mondays

I don't have any kind of routine in my life. That's the beauty of it because I could never stand doing the same routine everyday of the week. It may also be why I could never do a 9-5 job. =P

We've unnoticeably been doing this for a while now, so that's why today, I've declared Mondays to be our "Bum it out" day. It's where the baby and I don't go out at all, we just "bum it out" at home. Every day of the week, including weekends, I am either working, or he is running errands with me, so we're always on the go. Mondays have been the only days that's been a bit slower, no baby activities either, so we really enjoy lazy-ing ourselves at home - not having to change, not having to pack our bags, not having to drive, no walks, not having to pull out the stroller...it's our day of bumming it out.

But now that it may become a routine, let's see how long that lasts! =P

Sitting there...

I sat at the optometrist's office sometime last week and had my eyes dialated and you're supposed to wait a good half hour to see the doctor again. I've never wanted this kind of quiet time more.

The old me probably would've wanted to be doing something - reading a magazine, checking email, talking on the phone. I could never stand silence and now, I savor any treasurous minutes to myself. Just to think or even to clear my head and not think. Hearing no background noise, like everything's muted, is something you don't get anymore. Having a baby changes your life - like EVERYONE says - and this is one of the ways. You no longer have time to yourself.

And so I sat there, closing my eyes, and just sat there.

I caved.

I am the non-medicine type. I'm the kind that when I get sick, I just hack it through - take no medicine, drink lots of water and sleep it off. (Maybe that's why I went through labor with no epidural.)

But then on Friday, after Thursday's 4-hour episode waiting in the ER to make sure baby was okay because his lips had turned greyish-blue from vomitting, I felt so sick myself - the headache, the cold chills and worst, the feeling of wanting to (but couldn't) throw up. Did I catch the baby's virus? Like my old self, I naturally wanted to just sleep it off and hope it would all go away. But with the baby crying and crawling all over you, sleep was not an option.

And so, I caved. Because medicine was not an option either.

I ended up spending the night at my parent's place, in my old room and BA took baby home. The first whole night off without the baby, and my mom took care of me. It felt good being someone else's daughter again.

I hate being sick!

That's the worst thing you can do to a mom. I was sick the last 2 days and couldn't do a thing! I couldn't even rest to get better because I had to take care of the baby. The little naps I tried to steal when the baby was taking his nap, I laid there thinking of all the things I needed to be doing (work-wise). Now, with having a baby, it takes twice as long to get better.

But yesterday, I didn't care anymore. I couldn't stay home another day to hopefully get better. The more I was trying to just lay there and rest, the more work I wasn't getting done, which meant the more sick I probably was feeling from thinking (stressing) about it. So, I just braved it and went out, and it felt so good to get so much done!